Marriage: 6 Commitments-Lesson 8 "Canceling Debts"

Housekeeping

-Trunk or Treat Reminder

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Prayer

Chapter 6 “Cancelling Debts”

Romans 12:9–12 CSB

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. 10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another. 11 Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit; serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.

Galatians 6:7–9 CSB

7 Don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a person sows he will also reap, 8 because the one who sows to his flesh will reap destruction from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit. 9 Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.

Let me ask this...

Quick, one sentence… “How do you define Forgiveness?”

The Book of Hosea

Here is a great summary of the book from Ashley Willis from the book she wrote with her husband Dave, Naked Marriage. Page 131-132

Any other thoughts or applications you took from this book in the Bible as it pertains to Forgiveness?

Chapter 6

This chapter begins with a wonderful picture of cancelling all debt and what it is for the receiving person as well as how it feels when we truly, without reserve, cancel debts.

Humility and Forgiveness (page 94)

“Healthy marriages are healthy because the people in those marriages find joy in canceling debts. I cannot think of a more essential ingredient in marriage than forgiveness. Yet forgiveness is not always attractive. Forgiveness is difficult and costly. It will push you to the borders of your faith. It will tempt you to fear and doubt. But when forgiveness is granted and debts are canceled, the return is much greater than the cost.”

Thoughts on Jeb and Sally...

“the patterns of sin an d failure were not accompanied by patterns of confession and forgiveness.” page 95

The Harvest of Unforgiveness

Galatians 6:7 CSB

7 Don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a person sows he will also reap,

Galatians 6:7 NLT

7 Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.

Galatians 6:7–8 The Message

7 Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!— 8 harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.

Immaturity and Failure

Falling Into Comfortable Patterns

Establishing Defenses

Nurturing Dislike

Becoming Overwhelmed

Envy of Other Couples

Fantasies of Escape

Questions to Discuss...

“Which of these issues have you faced in your marriage?”

“What healthy things have you done—or could you do—to help you pull out of this progression?”

Then Why Don’t People Just Forgive?

“The sad reality is that there is short-term, relationally destructive power in refusing to forgive. Holding onto our spouse’s wrongs gives us the upper hand in our relationship. We keep a record of wrongs because we are not motivated by what is best for our spouse but by what is expedient for ourselves. Here are some of the dark “benefits” of unforgiveness.”

Benefits of Unforgiveness

Debt is Power

Debt is Identity

Debt is Entitlement

Debt is Weaponry

Debt Puts us in God’s Position

We will place a marker here on page 101, “What Is Forgiveness?”

In Closing

Next week we will continue and focus on forgiveness

Please re-read chapter 6 “Canceling Debts”

Also read Matthew 5:38-46; 18:21-35

Pray